December 27, 2023
LISTEN TO AUDIO
Before I became a pastor and was still practicing law, a friend invited me to a business lunch. There were eight of us at a table and the only one I knew was my host.
Before the program began, we were going around the table introducing ourselves. A man across from me said, “You know, there’s another Richard Selke here in Houston.”
I said, “Really, that’s interesting. I don’t know him.”
He added, “He’s a lawyer.”
“That’s strange, I said. “Selke’s not a very common name and there aren’t many of us here in Houston, particularly lawyers.”
“He’s a real estate lawyer,” he continued. And he went on to describe some professional associations and clubs I was a member of, the neighborhood I lived in, the car I drove.
I said, “That’s me!”
“Oh no, no,” he insisted. “He has twin daughters.”
I was getting fairly agitated, feeling feelings I had never experienced before. Each element he added to his description felt as though a piece of my identity was being taken away.
My host just sat there with a grin on his face and never said a word!
Finally, I stood up, pulled out my wallet and showed this stranger my driver’s license to prove who I was.
Later he said, “You know, I’m thinking about Richard Miller.” I know Richard Miller. We lived in the same neighborhood and ran in some of the same business and social circles. I understood the confusion and we all laughed about it.
Over the years, I’ve thought a lot about that experience. I realized that the reason I felt the feelings I was feeling was because I was having an identity crisis. I felt like someone had stolen my identity and I was no longer me. I was scared.
I concluded that identifying myself by my career, my car, my house, etc., wasn’t a very healthy way to describe who I was. Career and its trappings and most outward forms of recognition can be taken away. We can lose those things. That was what was making me fearful. And although those things are important, I came to realize that our relationships are more important in defining who we are.
The truth is that, before all else and above all else, we are all children of God. That relationship is our primary relationship and our relationship with God can never be taken away. We can never not be children of God. That truth is where I find my identity and therefore, my ultimate security.
I started to redefine the way I think about who I am in terms of relationships. I’m a husband, a father, a father-in-law, a grandfather, a brother and a friend. That’s a much healthier way to describe myself, to define who I am. Those relationships are blessings and give me great comfort.
I’m revising my bucket list to be more focused on people than on things. It used to be filled with things to do and places to see. I’ve let go of some of that – not all – but some. I’m probably not going to compete in an Iron Man. I may or may not ever walk the Camino de Santiago. But I might! Now my bucket list is mainly made up of relationships. There are many, many people who I need to catch up with, people with whom I hope to improve, renew and expand relationships. That’s what’s important now.
How we describe ourselves is important – both how we describe ourselves to others and how we describe ourselves to ourselves. It’s part of our story.
Simon Sinek in his book Start with Why states that the first question to ask in pursuing any endeavor is “Why”? I propose that the first question to ask in defining who we are is “Whose?” I simply cannot tell you who I am without telling you Whose I am. I am a child of God and you are too! Everything else flows from that truth.
REMEMBER & BELIEVE
Christ has died; Christ is risen; Christ will come again.
In the meantime, remember who you are and Whose you are!
QUESTION
How do you describe who you are to yourself and to others? Does that give you hope and comfort?
PRAYER
Father God, thank You for creating each one of us, everyone we love and all whom You love. Help us to remember who we are and Whose we are. Help us to remember that we can only define our true selves by acknowledging You as our Creator. We are Yours.
Our Father Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil and the evil one. For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, forever and ever.
Amen
“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24 (NRSV)
God bless you!
Richard
Christ Worshipper | Disciple Maker | Hope Giver
Welcome to In the Meantime. I'm glad you're here! We are living in the time between Christ's ascension into heaven and His promised return to earth. In the Meantime is a collection of stories about God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and His presence, love, mercy and grace in my life. In the Meantime, Jesus is Lord! Hallelujah!
Comentários